I'm not entirely sure how this conversation came about. Something about "prancing polar bears" led to walruses, led to the idea that we should keep walruses here as part of our zombie preparedness plan. Yes, there are some sick and twisted minds here... but you've got to admit, you laughed. Didn't you? And, I might add, shortly after we gave up on this little chat, I went out for lunch and had a bacon cheeseburger and onion rings. Better than roasted walrus, I bet!
R
I hereby open up discussion of whether or not roasting walrus would attract undue attention from roving bands of zombies
Go!
Lisa
at issue is the idea that zombies are attracted to living flesh....
so would they be attracted to the aroma of roasting anything -- and more particularly, walrus?
R
NOM NOM NOM!
As noted earlier off IM I say that perhaps this idea has merit because a steady diet of anything eventually gets old....even Bacon Cheese burgers and fries or onion rings would get old....
Lisa
now i want a bacon cheeseburger
and onion rings.
thanks a lot
E
I have to go out for lunch
Lisa
for some walrus?
E
as to the walrus question, there never seems to be any zombies in the frigid north, so maybe walrus and seals are safe and the cooking of such would not attract a zombie horde
Lisa
for some walrus?
R
Ed's buying a walrus bacon burger?
E
No, onion rings and a burger
R
made from walrus?
A
maybe we could use the walrus roasting to lure in the zombies to the roasting pit, and then roast zombies????
E
you can’t get walrus in helena
Lisa
so you're saying that we should move to the frigid north (more frigid than the EOC) and we'd be safe?
R
I don't think roast zombie sounds good AT ALL
E
for what purpose would you roast a zombie
I think it is a thought
A
I think the smell of roast zombies repels other not roasted zombies????
Lisa
it is a thought.... but not an overly good one.
and on the plus side, i suspect a roast zombie is a dead zombie
E
kind of like garlic only affects Italian vampires?
R
moving north sounds fine to me....we're already conditioned for weather conditions.....AND I'm already wearing elk hunting gear to work every day because of the arctic draft blowing up my pant leg...
E
your pants leg is not germane to this discussion
Lisa
so maybe we're safe from zombies here by virtue of the temperature in the EOC
R
I think maybe so. I thought the above said German for a second...
E
it is possible, if it were just a few degrees cooler then I think we would be safe
A
zombie popsicles!!!!!!
R
Gotta put 'em through a blender first A
otherwise it'd be Zombie chunks
E
I think A is a zombie, he seems to have a eating zombie thing goin on
Lisa
i prefer to save my blender for pina coladas.
R
NNOOOOOOOO
Not A!
Run A Run!
E
well the quiet ones are always the first to go
A
I was thinking more like if the zombie is frozen (popsicle) we could smash it with baseball bats!
E
you mean like liquid nitrogen frozen?
A
or EOC room temp frozen (same thing)
E
it is not,, no one has had an arm just drop off
R
Now "if you like Pina Colada's and getting caught in the rain..." is running through my mind
Lisa
sorry
kinda
R
frozen arms don't just fall off, dummy
A
they have to be smashed with a baseball bat???
E
if it is liquid nitrogen frozen and you swing it too fast it does
R
seriously Japalian? Are you even conscious this morning? How do you swing a arm that’s been frozen with nitrogen?
It’s no wonder your people are gone
E
and if we are talking frozen zombie flesh, which holds on the arm barely at best, then yeah they will just drop off
S
so, we've come from discussing cooking walruses might attract a zombie to freezing A's arm off with liquid nitrogen...well played
Lisa
it's a convoluted road we take in these conversations
S
by nature of the area in which Walruses (Walri?) dwell, there'd be a very small window in which you'd have to worry about zombie activity due to temperature; however the very existence of fire or smoke might alert a passing zombie to potential human presence
A
we could use a smokeless roaster then????
R
Maybe a slow cooker???
E
a george foreman grill
S
pressure cooker
R
plugged into the current bush?
we could just plug extension cords together on our way north
S
or the former president bush, whichever is handier
R
that dude’s in Texas. He's too far away to help us...
Lisa
but we were originally considering whether we could keep a walrus under the raised floor. (although why we were thinking about that, I have no idea)
S
wow
E
R is gonna have to do a lot of fishing to keep it fed,,, may lose R to the zombies
Lisa
and then we thought that was a fine idea, because we could eat it and use the oil for heat.
S
that's a sacrifice we're willing to make
Lisa
which led to wondering if the smell would attract zombies.
R
I'm feeding that bastid canned clams
S
LOL
E
they don’t eat clams, ya knob
R
yes they do.
and mussels
A
we could feed it from the EOC flock???
R
I think so
E
when was the last time you saw a clam stand in the arctic
S
please tell me you're talking about birds or sheep or something, not your fellow coworkers
R
They’re under the ice, Japalian
S
I'd be impressed to see a clam stand period
R
walrusses stay at the ice edge
A
the flock are the people trapped in the EOC
E
tidal zone ,, you have to dig them up
Lisa
The walrus has a diverse and opportunistic diet, feeding on more than 60 genera of marine organisms including shrimp, crabs, tube worms, soft corals, tunicates, sea cucumbers, various mollusks, and even parts of other pinnipeds. However, it prefers benthic bivalve mollusks, especially clams, for which it forages by grazing along the sea bottom, searching and identifying prey with its sensitive vibrissae and clearing the murky bottoms with jets of water and active flipper movements. The walrus sucks the meat out by sealing its powerful lips to the organism and withdrawing its tongue, piston-like, rapidly into its mouth, creating a vacuum. The walrus palate is uniquely vaulted, enabling effective suction. (Wikipedia.org)
R
trapped by the EOC - ya know the 'herd"
yeah Japalian, who's the knob now?
Lisa
people we refuse to let out of the compound... "the herd".
S
ahh, I see; thought maybe we were thinkin' the overlord here
E
good thing your work wife is here to save you
A
maybe the walrus could be our first line of defense against the zombies???
Lisa
well, that's an idea...
E
if we are cooking the walrus does the herd get any?
R
maybe you can make boats oughta their hide that lasts a couple years.....maybe it'd be zombie proof
Lisa
probably not. the herd is likely just going to be zombie prey anyway.
A
we might have to have a flock of walri at this rate.
R
Zombie bait
Lisa
why fatten them up for the zombies?
R
The herd'll get restless if they get to hungry....just sayin'.
S
light the walrus oil on fire and burninate the zombies outside the fence
E
so they will be at a spot longer so we can shoot them easier
R
question based on an earlier conversation....are prancing polar bears really the arch enemy of walri?
Lisa
Due to its great size and tusks, the walrus has only two natural predators: the orca and the polar bear
A
I wonder if walrus urine would repel zombies???
R
I know that but what about prancing polar bears?
S
well, you could count on it repelling the herd
R
EEWWW!
E
it might attract other walri
S
great, now we're fighting zombies and walruses
Lisa
and prancing polar bears
R
do walri move slower than zombies?
E
It’s a dead heat as to who is faster
S
so, we'll feast on the walrus, while staving off a zombie-walrus-prancing-polar-bear-apocalypse? I'm down with that
R
well somebody has to lose. There can only be one winner
S
winner=Chuck Norris
R
Chuck Norris is a zombie? Wha? When did that happen?
Lisa
but we are still overlooking the main question of whether zombies are attracted to the smell of roasting flesh -- be it walruses, polar bears, beef or other zombies....
S
he's not human....we lose, he wins
R
he's an alien from another planet?
A higher life form?
E
if he is not human, then we are dealing with intergalactic zombies?
S
he once visited the Virgin Islands; now they're just known as The Islands
R
LOL!
S
I'd say he's more of a supernatural gift; maybe from an ethereal plain of existence; nevertheless, I just know that I want him on my side
can't imagine trying to stop a Chuck Norris zombie with Walrus oil
Lisa
maybe we can convince him to live in the missile silo with us?
R
EPIC WIN! That's the best plan yet!
Lisa
not being an expert at zombies..... what is the likelihood of a zombie apocalypse in the winter?
E
you ever watch his movies,, are you sure you want him
Lisa
I can't recall ever seeing them marauding through a blizzard, say.
R
snowy to partly snowy I'd wager.
S
lol...well, I suppose an outbreak is capable anytime of the year; but the physical attacks would be slowed immensely depending on weather conditions
R
Based on the islands report above he has to leave his missile elsewhere....otherwise he's not welcome
S
*crying*
Lisa
wow....
S
wait, that looks weird--*crying w/laughter not b/c I'd be missing a missile*
E
R is missile less?
S
oh snap
R
snap is right!
Lisa
exposure to liquid nitrogen?
R
chuck would be missileless, you knob
Uh....no thank you.
R
I think we could easily convert this quiz to the Zombie discussion: http://theoatmeal.com/quiz/plotting_eat
S
I stare at people and rub my belly all the time; didn't realize that was wrong
